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Christmas Record

by dan bryk

  • Digital Album
    Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

    Download and on-demand version include three bonus tracks not on the original release.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $5 USD

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  • Christmas Record Compact Disc $12.95

We both woke up on Christmas morn In separate beds across the hall My parents' house, my mother's laws We couldn't wait until tomorrow The bumper hanging in the snow My dad asked, "Sure you have to go?" And mom said, "See, I told you so You should've rented a U-Haul" By 12 o'clock, we hit the road Our stomachs full, a heavy load Our chariot a V-8 Ford It would be a great adventure In Buffalo we were stopped and stared at The customs man said, "Pull over there" I brushed your cheek, you stroked my hair As we waited for an eternity They called our names through the speaker buzz And asked us what our purpose was For crossing the border like Santa Claus Were we trying to pull a fast one? They asked you all about your new job One played good cop, one took notes They emptied the car and searched for drugs Or whatever it was they were looking for And left it all piled up beside the trunk And wished us good luck With Canada in our rearview mirror And Christmas carols on the stereo The snow fell hard, the road went clear Black ice, our Christmas miracle We crawled along the thruway ride The snow was rising on each side The windshield wipers kept the time To the Yobs and "Feliz Navidad" We pulled into a Cracker Barrel Hardly gay in our apparel The waitress said, "My name is Cheryl. Take your time. It looks rough out there." You look like you're on some kind of great adventure" You said you'd like the veggie plate I ordered chicken deep-fried steak You gave me a look, I said, "Give me a break It's my first meal in America" The muffler fell off the back of the car 'round Clarksburg, West Virginia You held my hand and we tried to laugh But we couldn't hear much after that 79 is a boring drive I'd hardly know you were alive Without you snoring by my side And missing the great adventure Missing the great adventure Uh-huh The Citgo sign said 24 hours I bought Perrier and pecan turtles And wilting red gas station flowers You said, "Now, that's romantic" We stopped at 12 at Motel 8 The only place that looked open late They have HBO won't that be great? We fell asleep in the first five minutes of The Sopranos We woke up in each other's arms We kissed then lost a couple hours And then we tried to find our clothes All scrunched up in the covers We thought that was a pretty good start To our great adventure My dad said, "Take Highway 19, son It'll shave two hours off Charleston But in Summersville remember to slow down That speed trap is the absolute worst" You said, "Slow down, we're making time There isn't any finish line" I said, "We're only doing 55" That's when the flashing lights came up behind us The cop sauntered up to the window Said, "65 in a 50 zone" I said, "There's no way You must have the wrong car in your radar" We left $200 lighter On our great adventure She yelled, "Stop," I tried to brake The swerve part was a bad mistake Whatever we hit I heard it break Soon we both started crying Finally we turned around And drove the half an hour down To lay that turtle in the ground But we didn't have a shovel or anything Through the tunnel, 'round the mountains Up and down to Winston-Salem On the edge of Greensboro We caught some college radio But they never said What those songs were The sign said 12 miles to Chapel Hill She smiled and leaned on the windowsill The rental place was nice but still We had to get some groceries We fought over the price of ham And Bounty versus the Kroger brand In the checkout line We wondered could we stand each other's company We cuddled up in front of the TV And ate our ham and cranberry On brown bread with a slice of cheese And retired to the bedroom And that was only the very start Of our very long And very wonderful Very great adventure
Winter Sad 03:52
Let It Snow 02:07


This download has the bonus and hidden tracks from the physical CD.


released November 27, 2006

Played & recorded by Bryk with late game assists by Erin McGinn, Jim Brantley*, Tad Dreis, Tim Carless, Morgan David, and Down By Avalon (Alan Martin, Dempsey Elks and David Needham)

Grayson Currin of the Independent Weekly wrote a very nice lengthy feature about this record that we hope explains a lot.


*If you prefer your Christmas Music to be of the joyous variety, we highly recommend checking out Jim's family band! thebrantleyfamilyband.bandcamp.com


Some rights reserved. Please refer to individual track pages for license info.



dan bryk Durham, North Carolina

That guy who wrote “Chunky Girl” and “Discount Store.”

Now dropping hoarded tracks like sucka MCs.

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