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Great Adventure

from Christmas Record by Dan Bryk

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We both woke up on Christmas morn
In separate beds across the hall
My parents' house, my mother's laws
We couldn't wait until tomorrow

The bumper hanging in the snow
My dad asked, "Sure you have to go?"
And mom said, "See, I told you so
You should've rented a U-Haul"

By 12 o'clock, we hit the road
Our stomachs full, a heavy load
Our chariot a V-8 Ford
It would be a great adventure

In Buffalo we were stopped and stared at
The customs man said, "Pull over there"
I brushed your cheek, you stroked my hair
As we waited for an eternity

They called our names through the speaker buzz
And asked us what our purpose was
For crossing the border like Santa Claus
Were we trying to pull a fast one?

They asked you all about your new job
One played good cop, one took notes
They emptied the car and searched for drugs
Or whatever it was they were looking for
And left it all piled up beside the trunk
And wished us good luck

With Canada in our rearview mirror
And Christmas carols on the stereo
The snow fell hard, the road went clear
Black ice, our Christmas miracle

We crawled along the thruway ride
The snow was rising on each side
The windshield wipers kept the time
To the Yobs and "Feliz Navidad"

We pulled into a Cracker Barrel
Hardly gay in our apparel
The waitress said, "My name is Cheryl.
Take your time. It looks rough out there."
You look like you're on some kind of
great adventure"

You said you'd like the veggie plate
I ordered chicken deep-fried steak
You gave me a look, I said, "Give me a break
It's my first meal in America"

The muffler fell off the back of the car
'round Clarksburg, West Virginia
You held my hand and we tried to laugh
But we couldn't hear much after that

79 is a boring drive
I'd hardly know you were alive
Without you snoring by my side
And missing the great adventure
Missing the great adventure

The Citgo sign said 24 hours
I bought Perrier and pecan turtles
And wilting red gas station flowers
You said, "Now, that's romantic"

We stopped at 12 at Motel 8
The only place that looked open late
They have HBO won't that be great?
We fell asleep in the first five minutes of The Sopranos

We woke up in each other's arms
We kissed then lost a couple hours
And then we tried to find our clothes
All scrunched up in the covers
We thought that was a pretty good start
To our great adventure

My dad said, "Take Highway 19, son
It'll shave two hours off Charleston
But in Summersville remember to slow down
That speed trap is the absolute worst"

You said, "Slow down, we're making time
There isn't any finish line"
I said, "We're only doing 55"
That's when the flashing lights came up behind us

The cop sauntered up to the window
Said, "65 in a 50 zone"
I said, "There's no way
You must have the wrong car in your radar"

We left $200 lighter
On our great adventure
She yelled, "Stop," I tried to brake
The swerve part was a bad mistake
Whatever we hit I heard it break
Soon we both started crying

Finally we turned around
And drove the half an hour down
To lay that turtle in the ground
But we didn't have a shovel or anything

Through the tunnel, 'round the mountains
Up and down to Winston-Salem
On the edge of Greensboro
We caught some college radio
But they never said
What those songs were

The sign said 12 miles to Chapel Hill
She smiled and leaned on the windowsill
The rental place was nice but still
We had to get some groceries

We fought over the price of ham
And Bounty versus the Kroger brand
In the checkout line
We wondered could we stand each other's company

We cuddled up in front of the TV
And ate our ham and cranberry
On brown bread with a slice of cheese
And retired to the bedroom

And that was only the very start
Of our very long
And very wonderful
Very great adventure


from Christmas Record, released November 27, 2006




Dan Bryk Durham, North Carolina

That guy who wrote “Chunky Girl” and “Discount Store.”

Finally dropping new songs almost as good as those

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